Everything is OK!!

I couldn't sleep last night, full of anxiety. I am sure most women feel this way after a miscarriage, but I have not really allowed myself to get excited about having this baby but today that all changed. I had my first ultrasound, my eye's instantly searched for that little flutter in the middle of the chest and when I locked my eyes on it the water works started. I cried tears of sadness remembering our loss but most of all I cried great tears of joy. This was the first real sign other than nausea that our little peanut was growing perfectly. My panic attacks on days when I feel great and my anticipation of the worst can now be put aside. My doctor was very understanding.....he's LDS so he didn't call it a fetus or any of those cold medical terms, it was theres your baby and it is perfectly health...sorry its not two. Gosh I wasn't sorry it's not TWO but I loved his humor. I showed the pictures to Samantha who oooed and awwwed over them and told me how beautiful the baby is, she's such a sweet girl. She then imedeatly told me all that we need to do to get ready for this baby, I tried to explain to her that we had pleanty of time. So a Valentines baby it is.