Baby Girl

No I am not pregnant although a girl could dream!

I had my nice little yearly check up today.....just another thing on my list to check off. Well I had totally forgotten that after my last visit not all my pathology tests from my miscarriage had been received by my OB. I had been told by the previous doctor that the labs were inconclusive. It was hard to know that I would not know the sex of baby #3 in this life and I resigned to take my best guest/strongest inclination and go with boy.

At my appointment today I was surprised when the Doctor started talking about lab results....I had put it out of my mind I didn't think there was anymore to know. I was pleasantly surprised when she kindly told me that whom ever I had talked to about results before was wrong. Our baby had been a little girl.

All I can say now to that little girl is I am sorry that I did not pay attention to the way it felt strange to call you a boy or how unsettled I felt about who you really were/are. I should have known that meant I had it wrong but all my many emotions clouded that. I think I can close the book on you baby #3 and leave you tucked away as the little girl that wasn't meant to be in this life. I love you with all my heart but I have to press forward.